I haven't had sex for 10 years

I am a 34-year-old heterosexual woman. Apart from a few dreadful one-night stands, I haven't had a partner, or sex, for 10 years. I come from a very strict Catholic – and violent – home and have always been very shy and wary of men. To make matters worse, four years ago I had a labia reduction that went wrong. I feel as if I will never have sex or a partner again. I do meet men, but always back out of sex as I'm self-conscious and inexperienced. What can I do to get over these problems?True intimacy, which is the basis of good sex, or a strong, fulfilling partner relationship, can develop only when we free ourselves from focusing on our imperfections. It takes time and courage to show ourselves to our partner, but building the necessary trust is a vital part of the process.
One-night stands are best left to those who can handle them – mainly people who have developed a capacity to enjoy non-intimate eroticism. For you, achieving a loving connection with a partner should occur well in advance of full physical love-making.
Learn to be more positive about your body and sexuality in general. Everything you have experienced in your life has contributed to the way you feel about these aspects of you, and they are nothing to be ashamed of. You are a survivor, and you deserve to be appreciated for that – and for your many other appealing qualities.